Writing with Dyslexia

There “their” is the wrong “they're”

What is dyslexia? Well, try reading the sentence above. As you've noticed all the homonyms are confused in it. For anyone who got it straight away, well done. But everyone else, that confusion you experienced while trying to make sense of that string of words, that's what dyslexia feels like. It should read: Their “they're” is the wrong “there”. Implying that dyslexics confuse these words, among dozens of others.

The definition of dyslexia is: a condition of the brain that makes it difficult for an individual to read, write and spell. But really it goes beyond this, here you’ll find a list of common signs, traits and coping techniques an adult dyslexic suffers from. It’s not a dyslexia test per say, as a trained psychologist should always be consulted if you do think you or your child is suffering from it. But for those of us who know we have dyslexia it can be reassuring to read and know you’re not the only one, and shocking to see just how much of who you are originates in what is wholly regarded as a negative force in people’s lives.

 

Managing with Dyslexia

A number of years ago I was working with a friend. He starting telling me that his girlfriend’s little brother had just been told he is dyslexic. My friend, knowing I too suffered from the same disability asked me how the symptoms of dyslexia affected my writing. My first reaction was, of course, the defensive, immature response based on years of being considered an idiot. NO! Of course not. “Oh really?” he responded, in genuine surprise, “you don’t get stuck on words, or confused when writing a long section? You don’t mix up your tenses and words that are pronounced the same?”

That was when it hit me, my dyslexia had greatly effected my writing. In truth, I had struggled for years and years, but to me, it was so common place I didn’t even think about it. I just got on with my work, not completely ignorant, but definitely uncaring towards my mistakes and struggles.

However, following that conversation, I couldn’t stop noticing it. Years of writing with dyslexia, and never paying it any mind came back in one fell swoop, and I found myself nearly crippled (writing wise) purely because I was stumbling over every word, debating every sentence.

 

Making Mistakes

So, my first tip for the dyslexic writer, don’t think about it. You are going to make mistakes, a lot of them. You’ll construct sentences so poor even you can’t get a grasp on what you were trying to say. You could be typing along without a bother and then you look up and everything is underlined in green and red. (I hate the green one more, it just doesn’t get me, you know?) But you have to push on, correcting is for editing, if to you stop to manage your mistakes when you’re in the middle of a flow, you could lose everything you are thinking about.

Not to mention the confidence knock you could get from a machine pointing out just how bad you are at grammar.

Don’t think of spell-check as your best friend, think of it as your rival. The Gary Oak to your Ash Ketchum. The guy running alongside you who is just that bit ahead. The one that pushes you to do better. However, if you stop mid-race to work out why he’s ahead; you lose. Just keep running until the race is over, then go back and look at what you could have done differently.

 

Rage Quit

This ties in nicely to my next tip, try not to let your frustration show. People around you probably won’t understand, though, if they do, you’ve got back up. But most people won’t get why you’re getting so worked up over it, they don’t understand how your brain works, which is fine, if you’re honest you don’t know theirs works either.

They don’t understand the crippling confusion that comes with trawling through a spreadsheet looking for that one mistake, they won't get how all the numbers look the same, the way your eyes can’t focus on what you’re looking for, and the way you mind is racing, worrying over what you’ve done wrong and how you can fix it.

You are going to make mistakes, a lot, and it won't get any better. Dyslexia is not something you can truly cure. You can manage it, maybe even train yourself out of the symptoms, but it will always be there. The best thing to do is be honest about it. Honest with yourself and others. Its nothing to be ashamed of, in fact, I’ve learned to be proud of my disability, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

 

Prescription for Laughter

The easiest way to be honest about something is to have a sense of humour about it. If you’re concerned about how your co-workers or employer will react; don’t be. They won’t be negative about it, and if they are, then congratulations to them, they just broke discrimination laws. But you should find, that if you are able to laugh at your mistakes, (in knowing the cause of them) the others will find it funny as well. They won’t think; “poor [insert name], I best not trouble them about it,” they’ll feel free to laugh at and point out your mistakes also. Which at the end of the day will make your job easier.

 

The Importance of Being Literate

This is my most important bit of advice for managing your dyslexia, any parents combing through should pay special attention to this if you’ve recently discovered your child is dyslexic. Reading is, in my opinion, one of the best and most engaging ways one can advance beyond it.

Now, many children with dyslexia form an antagonistic relationship with reading. Normally, because they won’t be very good at it. And no one likes to do things they aren’t good at, especially children who are still developing the sense of self which allows any person to succeed in later life.

Being made read out loud in class can emphasise this even more and by the time the child is in high school they hate reading, and all forms of written work. And I mean HATE. It makes them feel stupid, different and, well, broken.

So how do you overcome this, or tackle it before it takes hold? Read what you love. Read stories, or articles or blogs that you enjoy about topics that genuinely interest you. This is the most important thing when trying to read; be on your own, and don’t think about your problems. You may have serious trouble reading, and I mean serious, it isn’t totally uncommon for a dyslexic child to end up completely illiterate. This is not just because of dyslexia, this comes down many factors including education, concentration skills and most importantly, how well they engage with reading.

A severely dyslexic friend of mine, (one who has the worst end of the spectrum, combined with OCD and ADHD) claims to despise reading, but his head is always buried in his phone, and he's not just skimming pictures. He is reading and understanding complicated articles and guides. Put a novel in front of him, though, and he’ll run for the hills. So remember, reading is reading, no matter what form it takes.

 

TOP TIP FOR PARENTS: Give this a try; read to your kid. Choose something like Harry Potter, something they can really be engrossed with, and start reading it to them. Give it a month or so, wait for them to get really into the story, and then, stop. I don’t mean turn around and say “I’m not doing this anymore.” I mean every time the child asks, just say you’re busy, tired, or whatever. Encourage them to read without you. If you’ve chosen the right story the kid will inevitably pick up the book themselves, just so they can find out how it ends.

 

Getting on with it

This is something I did for years without knowing and then had to re-teach myself. Don’t think about it. If you find you have to re-read a sentence a couple of times to understand it, then do that, but don’t chide yourself for it. Don’t even think about how annoying it is. Just understand the sentence, that’s the important part. If you get what it says then who cares about how long it took you to get it?

A major problem many people with learning difficulties suffer from is procrastination. Putting it off because it's going to be difficult, or challenging, or force you to really examine your dyslexia. For tips on dealing with procrastination have a read of my recent post about it here.

Remember, putting it off won't make it any easier. So if it is your disability that’s making you hold off from picking up the pen, do try to ignore it, because worrying about it will make it much much worse.

 

In School

Now this is fine when you’re at home. But in a classroom or workplace setting it can be difficult, especially when very few non-dyslexic people truly understand being dyslexic. It takes a lot of experience, and possibly even countless degrees and research done on the topic, but still they can end up missing the mark.

For years I’ve gone through the internet looking at tips and guides for how to manage dyslexia. And the ones written by non-dyslexics always stand out. These guides tend to work off assumptions as (most) of your teachers will. They will assume x, y and z about how you understand things and give you a “simple” set of rules to follow to make up for you problems.

Now, it should go without saying that no two people learn in exactly the same way, and if that’s the case, why is assumed that ALL dyslexic people do? So, let's be clear about something, these are their problems. Don’t let them tell you how you feel or how you think. Be unashamed, if you make a mistake say that’s grand, just say “I’m not going to let you make a big deal out of this“.

 

Spelling, a trade secret

Its only spelling, here’s a secret to all you kids out their, spelling is irrelevant. How often when you’re having a conversation with someone do they say: “sorry, how do you spell that word?” Never. Teachers all around the globe can call for my head for saying this, but spelling is exceptionally immaterial to everyday life

Obviously if you’re trying to be an author you can't submit something lathered in spelling mistakes. But fixing mistakes is far easier than trying to make sure they don’t happen. I recommend the add-on Grammerly, it is far superior to any word processor’s grammar checker, and can tie into your browser as well. It will find all your mistakes, as well as point out the way in which you’re forming your sentences. Dyslexics tend not to form sentences the same way to everyone else. This can be as much a blessing as a curse. Sometimes your sentence won’t make sense, but sometimes, you’ll word something in a way no one could have thought of except you and your weird brain.

If you get bogged down in worrying about it, as I said above, you won't get anywhere. I’m dyslexic and I have an excellent vocabulary, why? Because I read, a lot, far more than most of others my age did. And I did it with a disability. How? I didn’t worry about it. I loved reading for me, it wasn’t for anyone else, it certainly wasn’t for my teachers, who, if they had had their way, would have seen me in a special class especially for people with learning disabilities so that my “problems” didn’t slow down the rest of the pupils.

Turn around to these people and point out that while your spelling and grammar may suck, in a spatial reasoning exercise you could very well make a class of you peers look like infants.

 

Après Class

So what are the main effects dyslexia will have once you leave education? Education and the education systems of the world don’t like dyslexic people. They're hard to categorise in a straight forward manner. You can’t just say, oh they're practically the same as everyone else, so let's just treat them the same. Neither can you say they have a serious, dehabilitating disability, we have to segregate them and work on them.

This really all comes down to personal experiences. Many kids get lucky every year and have wonderfully patient and experienced teachers. I myself found that my college dealt with dyslexia and other learning disabilities very admirably. Unfortunately, for most dyslexics, no matter where you are, education is going to be hard. Teachers will tell you that you have to work harder, push yourself more, otherwise you won't succeed. Flash forward to the end of your education, and you’ll find no one can spell properly. No one can use punctuation and grammar entirely correct. And most importantly, no one cares.

 

Don't Panic, be Dyslexic

For all you dyslexic kids out there worried about your future, don’t be. You have a superpower. Your problem solving, spatial reasoning, hell your understanding of the world is more than likely superior to your peers, and they think you’re disabled. But in fact, you’re Daredevil, he lost his sight when he was a boy and so his hearing took on super human prowess. Dyslexia is the same, despite all your problems, you can use the skills you do have to a much higher degree. There is only one thing standing in your way, and this is crucial…

Confidence.

Parents, teachers, and anyone reading this, you have to understand this, you must give someone confidence in their work for them to succeed in any way. You must help them believe that because of this disability they can achieve so much more.

The number of famous people with dyslexia is staggering, the number of people who have changed the world irrevocably who suffered from dyslexia is astronomical. (Albert Einstein, WB Yeats, Agatha bloody Christie, to name but a few) It is the most common form of learning disability. You may be different to everyone in your class, but out there in the world, it’s the really awesome people that you have the most in common with. Screw the plebs, screws the norms, you’re weird, different and special, don’t forget that. Embrace it, use it, every time you succeed think about what an achievement it really is.

 

Living Life

If you’ve just learned your dyslexic, or have been dealing with it for years and feel you are just unable to manage, don’t panic. Don’t even worry. You can still do everything everyone else can do. I worked in an office for years dealing with spreadsheets, budgets and other such boring, but crucial, nonsense.

I struggled, I got frustrated, I thought to myself “I can’t do this” then, I got on with it and I did it. Because I was getting paid to work, and just because it may be harder for me to do it than anyone else, I’m still getting paid. And there was plenty of stuff that I excelled in, purely because of how my mind worked, that others struggled with or couldn’t do at all.

Everyone is good at some things and bad at others. And because you may be catastrophically bad at one thing, probably means you’re unbelievably good at another. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and a good employer/leader/teacher can identify that and help people work to their individual strengths. In the adult world, dyslexics are just like everyone else. Except, we have the royal excuse as to why we’re so bad at some things. What’s the rest of the world's excuse then?

 

As I said a the start if you do think you or your child may be dyslexic don't hesitate to find a child psychiatrist. The earlier dyslexia is identified, the better. Just ask your GP or school guidance counsellor if you are unsure.

Also, if you have any questions or problems come up from reading this article don’t hesitate to contact me here and I will do my best to advise you.

Procrastination: How to Beat Yourself at Your Own Game

Everyone has fought the never ending waves of demons that are called procrastination. As the holder of a bachelor's degree and the writer of two books, a few websites, and a part-time housekeeper (albeit to my own family) I can say that I’ve slew my way through the hordes many times. However I tend to forget, like most of us, procrastination isn’t an exterior force, it’s not the devil in disguise. Or rather it is, but it’s the devil inside all of us. It comes from within us, and only from within ourselves can we overcome it.

 

Give yourself a Break (not a time-out)

Now, first off it's important to say, when we look at the effects of procrastination it isn’t all bad. I know there’s people out there whose lives or careers can become crippled by it, but it’s vital that people don’t beat yourselves up too badly about it. Psychologists (and writers alike) agree that a small shot of procrastinating can be just what you need to get the synapses firing on that idea you’re working on.

But as everyone knows; too much of anything is bad for you, the long term effects of procrastination really depends on your goal, and how hard you truly need to work to complete it. I’ll get back to that later, but for now, this is important, forgive yourself, even if you're procrastinating right now by reading this post, stop dragging yourself over the coals. It’s not going to make picking up the books any easier.

It’s easy to see how depression and procrastination can be directly linked; so remember, self-deprecation and self-motivation are NOT one in the same, in fact, they tend to adversely affect one another in a see-saw-like manner. So stop, you want to make a change, that’s great! You want to finish this essay, novel, album, hell all you want to do is clean your car out. That’s fantastic! Focus on the positives, that’s my unofficial step one. Focus on the positives, and from there we can start making leaps and bounds.

 

Fighting the good fight

So how do you go about overcoming procrastination when most of us love finding reasons not to something? “oh it’s a bit wet out, I’ll empty the bin later” of course you will, this is a perfectly justifiable reason. I mean who wants to get wet when they don’t have to? But you’ll notice, that if you think hard enough, you’ll find a justifiable reason not to do anything. Our brains are clever that way, they think they always know what’s best for us, and a part of them does, it's filtering out the difference where we procrastinators run into trouble.

What is procrastination? Tim Urban sums it up in these of images, showing how the procrastinator’s brain has a little something extra.


 

This monkey as Tim puts it is what makes the procrastinator prefer immediate satisfaction over long time success. That five minutes of gratification gives the procrastinator what they need to keep going. It’s one of the first problems you encounter, so here’s a tip that will help, focus on your end game.

Just think about it, fantasise about it, jeez obsess over it if that’s what you have to do. Think about how good it will be having that novel completed, that essay done, and if that doesn’t work go further. Think about the joy your readers will get from reading your work, think about how great your life will be once you have that degree and can land your dream job. Won’t it be awesome?!

You must give your work more intrinsic value. Make every paragraph, every pot cleaned, an instant gratification, remember that everything is just a means to an end.

eg. COLLEGE=DEGREE=SUCESS

Now you know how vital this is, how much it will do for you. Of course, this is only the beginning, a true procrastinator needs more that a bit of self-worth to finish what they’ve started, and we’ll get there, but first let’s make some headway through this task.

 

Building the muscles

So you know what you have to do, and you know why you WANT to do it. So let’s keep going, we don’t want to run out steam. Anyone who’s ever tried to put on a some muscle mass knows that the best way, instead over-eating with huge meals, is to break down your daily meals into smaller, more regular chunks. This allows your body to process what it’s in-taking more efficiently and leads to faster gains.

So next, we have to break down our task/s into more manageable chunks. Write out, step by step, what you need to do, or if you don’t have steps, just divide it into smaller jobs, or chapters or paragraphs. Once you’ve done that its time to look at where to make your first mark.

 

Difficulty OR Satisfaction: A personal choice

Now there're two ways to go about this. Most psychologists, and teachers for that matter, will recommend always start with the hardest thing. This is because people have finite amounts of energy for their day, and starting with the easiest and working their way up to the hard stuff, tends to mean you won’t have the energy for the hard stuff later, and you won’t be able to give it the attention it requires. It’s the building block of what your lecturer might call “efficient time management”.

This makes sense doesn’t it? Of course it does, but everyone lets out a collective sigh when they hear this. This is the exact opposite of what they want, and what we want always has a way of taking precedence. So my advice is to save that hard thing until you’ve got a swing going. Don’t leave it until the end, but first, you should focus on whatever will make you feel best, because feeling good will make that difficult task all the more easier.

No, I’m not talking about watching a dog struggling in shoes on YouTube, I’m talking about self-fulfilment. What part of your task will make you feel confident? What will make you WANT to keep going, to keep hold of this amazing feeling of self-worth? So many people stop before they’ve even begun simply because they don’t think they’re good enough to succeed.

I myself, while researching this article, came across a series of similar ones that seemed so far beyond what my talents are that I nearly threw the idea away and focused on something else. But that was just procrastination again, the ultimate kind, the kind that ends a war in one fell swoop. The mutually assured destruction of your hopes and your fears. A person with no confidence in themselves won’t push it, they’re afraid they’ll suck at it and so, they put off doing their work until the last minute, or give up on it all together, and thus end up fulfilling their own prophecy and sucking.

So remember, you are good enough, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. It’s a long road uphill to gain some confidence in yourself, but the view from the top; it’s worth it.

 

Overcoming the addiction

Unfortunately, this can’t last forever, eventually, doubt and fear slip their way back in and you don’t know if you can go on. It’s almost like an addiction, you repeat your own lack of self-worth over and over, it’s the crutch that helps you stop what you’re doing, and open your browser. So what do you do then? Well, you do what any addict does, get a sponsor.

Now, excuse my terminology, I don’t mean a person you can call who can talk you through a particularly bad patch, though that would help too. I mean someone you’re accountable to. Preferably someone you respect, or love, or even just want to impress. Let me give you an example.

My fiancé works in the city, he works extremely long hours with a really annoying commute. With me working from home I have plenty of opportunities in my day to play video games, read books or do nothing at all. But, I make myself accountable to him, at least in my own head.

I think to myself, he’s been working so hard, he’ll be happy if he gets home and find I’ve been working too. If I can show him what I’ve done with all my time, he’ll be impressed with me. “well-done babe.” or “wow, you really worked hard” it seems silly, but when you respect someone enough the smallest bit of praise is like a gold medal. Except it’s not gold, or even tangible really, it’s up to you to make it so. And if thinking about pleasing that person doesn’t do it for you, think about how DISAPPOINTED they’ll be instead.

Fear and hope; the two greatest motivators mankind has ever found, make them work for you.

 

Bringing the fight to the monkey

Now, we all know that procrastination has one arch-nemesis, the guy that shows up on the battlefield and sends those demons flying out of rank scared witless. I’m talking of course about the deadline. That magic time, on a magic day, when all your work MUST be completed.

Most procrastinators say they “need the pressure” to work effectively. And that is probably true in many ways. But what if there is no deadline? What if you’re doing this all by yourself, for yourself, because you want to be better. What then? The pressure’s gone, you’ve no one to impress, all the confidence in the world isn’t going to convince you that writing this blog post now is just as important as beating Sephiroth.

What do you do? You create your own deadline of course, but one that has to be adhered to.

If you want to become a better musician, book a gig. If you’re writing a novel, arrange a reading; go to a creative writing class, or even set up a Facebook event in your own home. Create an audience for yourself, and a date you’re going to be in front of them. Are You feeling the pressure yet? You’ll find that not wanting to be made a fool of can be extremely good motivation. Of course, you’ll have to cling onto to that confidence we were talking about earlier, otherwise, this could backfire, but it’s okay, you’re awesome at this remember, otherwise why would you bother?

And that’s the most important thing, am I bothered? Is procrastination my mind’s way of telling me I don’t want this? Let’s find out.

 

WANT TO versus HAVE TO

There are two types of activity in life, things you WANT to do, and things you HAVE to do. Now sometimes they correlate together in an awesome life-affirming package but oft times they will not. So, make a list. Divide all your tasks/goals into a Venn diagram and have a look at it.

Most of you will notice that their “want to” pile is much bigger that their “have to” pile. And they think, damn these have tos, if it wasn’t for them I could do anything I wanted. WRONG. Because of them you can do everything you want. Your have to pile is tiny compared to it. It’s easy, and once you’ve got this small list out of the way, BANG there’s all this time for the good list; the want list.

But what about those with a bigger “have to” pile? Well their lives are even better! They are wanting for so little that their responsibilities are actually greater, think about it. Responsibilities tend to have a clock in and clock out time. Your wants? They’re for your time, and if it’s only a short list, then you can achieve everything you want in a short time, why are you even reading this article, you’re so close? Go on, go!

 

Finding / tricking your inner strength

Now we come to the final and most important part, WILLPOWER. All the deadlines and confidence In the world won’t save you unless you can control this, and this can be impossible for some people. (I won’t tell you how times I’ve tried to give up smoking) so what to do if the internet is just a little bit more interesting that an essay on postmodernism? You take control of the internet.

A quick Google search will bring you to hundred of programs/add-ons for your browser that allow you to control what you can see and when you see it. I suppose this isn’t so much taking control as giving control over to your computer, but still, a blocked facebook is a blocked facebook, am I right?

 

Prey Slaughtered

Procrastination is all about control, and I’m not just talking about beating it. Procrastinating is a form of control itself. When we find ourselves pressured into acting, when were stuck with a difficult task we don’t WANT to do, we procrastinate because at the end of the day we’re the ones in control, and if I don’t want to something then hell, I’m not going to do it.

But remember, that control is yours. It’s up to you to decide how you use. What do you really want? If you know, make sure you’re not the only thing stopping you from getting it. Because when all is said and done, you’ll be the only person you're accountable to and if you can’t get out of your own way, then how will rest of the world follow suit?

 

If you want to procrastinate more, or if you still have some of the fight to go be sure to check out waitbutwhy.com Tim will fill in any of blanks that I might have left.